Celebrity Slave Training: Naomi Campbell
It has been a long while since I have posted anything, which makes me a very bad blogger. My inspiration came from the sheer disdain I felt the other day when I began to think about the recent antics of Naomi Campbell. I was aware the aging model had a behavior problem, but I had forgotten about it until she hit the news for spitting on an officer in London during an altercation. It was alleged that Campbell tossed racial epithets, calling the officer a “white slag.” Hmmm….
I would invite Campbell to attend our workshop where she would be broken of her sense of entitlement and taught to accept herself for the worthless piece of human flesh she seems to behave like. We would certainly begin with a rigorous regimen designed to instill in her a true sense of her worth. We would write upon her body “SLAG” and she would be forced to masturbate as our staff projected their own spittle onto her bare flesh. Afterwards it would be off to the stockade, where the officer involved in the embroilment would be allowed to paddle and whip Campbell until she proffered an apology and begged for the treatment of the just. Then would we encourage the officer to use a strapon to show the real slag who is boss.
It might also be useful to highlight the flawed areas of Campbell’s body with a marking pen or lipstick, with particular attention paid to the areas ravaged by age. As part of our work furlough program, Campbell would be made to work at McDonald’s during the days as she endured the final phases of her humiliation training at night, with regular visits from the officer in question.
Lisa Lynette Clark: In Need of Training
Again, we are scouring the bottom of the entire notion of celebrity, avoiding the obvious antics (for now) of Paris, Nicole, Britney and Lindsay. This week delivers a fine candidate for celebrity slave training, straight from Google’s Zeitgeist volcanic list. Lisa Lynette Clark was released from prison today. Her activity with the 15 year old boy who was friend’s with her son was scandalous to say the least. Setting aside the legal and moral issues, I can’t help but find arousal in my loins for the whole MILF and cougar fantasy that made both headlines and internet porn legend and dream.
Since she is now free to walk the earth, we would suggest a 5-day stay at the celebrity slave training academy, where she would fulfill the fantasy of every young man who wanted to indulge. Since she was audacious enough to deliver a child while behind bars, we would begin her training as a full-fledged breeder, where we would attach a constant nipple suction device to train her nipples for suckling all the babies she would be forced to have, and then she would endure a strict milking regime, followed by insemination at hourly intervals.
Her offspring would be nursed at her breast for a reasonable period, and then they would be taken to the orphanage for adoption to families who are having difficulty conceiving. We feel there is so much potential for a wanton slut like Clark, and she would certainly fulfill the insatiable appetites of our staff as she was used throughly as a sex toy for our staff and guests.
Real Housewives of Orange County: In Need of Training
While the real pleasure of celebrity slave training may lie in the level of celebrities in need of strict discipline, there are often those whose celebrity is unwarranted, and I feel almost ashamed to offer any attention to the true D-listers. But give yourself ten minutes to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County, and you will quickly see that here are a group of strumpets truly in need of some real discipline. I won’t waste time giving each of these shallow tramps a separate entry, as their names will never be remembered, but rather the only inkling of celebrity is the offensive brand created by Bravo. Each of these harlots should be subject to a special regime of cruelty and rigorous re-training.
Here are women who are so affected by the horrid county in which they live, where most are generally frankensteinian monsters imbued with the most ugly of human traits. Vanity, selfishness, greed, arrogance, entitlement and delusion drive these disgusting trollops, and I can’t fault them, but rather the entire culture born of their community. That is why I feel they are at least deserving of a strict program designed to free them of the bondage of their delusions.
We could begin with the one that a friend of mine calls the horse-faced woman, although I can’t ever tell which one she’s really talking about, because they are all rather equine looking. I have never before observed the phenomenon that the effects of too much plastic surgery create the contemporary horse visage, but here is a gaggle of them. You might think you know where I am going in terms of the custom-tailored training program, but pony-play is not what I would personally recommend for these women. The only one that might make a proper pony girl was booted off the show when her rich benefactor dumped her and I gather she was forced to move into a townhouse in Whittier or somewhere beyond the enclave of Coto .
The best likely location for the training would be in their own homes. While there is some advantage to removing these whores from their natural environment, it might be best if they were subject to the humiliation of their own materialism— rubbed in their faces like a dog that had shit the living room carpet. A quick look at the blogs of horse-face #1 (although I still can’t tell which horse is which) reveals her photo diary, which contains nothing but photographs of her handbags and shoes. This one should be first bound spread-eagle to the posts of her bed, and we would taunt her with the contents of her closet, perhaps shredding some of her favorite fashion accessories with a bowie knife as she is gagged and helpless to protest. All of her clothes and such would be spread around her while she would be taunted about the ugliness of her facades. Once she has calmed down a bit, we would parade all of her old lovers in the room, where she would be subject to their own brands of vengeance, which would hopefully involve the beginnings of her own acknowledgment of the superiority of the phallus in some form. After a period of high-intensity sexual submission, horse-face #1 would be dressed in a latex suit with hood and leash trained with a short crop to control her posture and movements. She would also be trained in basic speech protocols, learning to say only ‘Yes Sir’ and ‘No Sir.’ If she responded positively to her training, she would perhaps become viable property for a patient Dom, and we would consider auctioning her off to the highest bidder. All proceeds would be donated to some local charity.
The second real housewife (although it appears as though none of these women are actually married) who is a candidate for the slave training academy is Quinn, a relative newcomer to the scene. She is eligible for our program because she of her attempts to manipulate her suitor into marriage and/or commitment with the promise of more raunchy sex. She claimed that she needed such a commitment in order for her to really release the sexual beast she felt lived within her. She also held out hopes that she would convince this suitor to convert to Christianity for the same prize. For her misguided conception of human relationships and her manipulations, this one would be trained to release this secreted sexual persona at all times and for anyone interested in it. She would be bound to a cross and flogged daily while her sex would be monitored for signs of wetness or any other sexual response. Upon such response she would be used by our staff indiscriminately. She would be trained to cum for anyone, learning the idea that her pleasure is not for her but rather for the men she serves. To accomplish this (in tandem with the aforementioned regime), she would be forced to orgasm beyond the point of her own tolerance, until she accepted that she is a vehicle for pleasure as opposed to her inverted notion that men are objects for her own pleasure-seeking. As with the others, she would learn protocols and particular attention would be paid to her verbal skills.
As for the rest of these so-called wives, I would continue to describe how they might be trained to be proper ladies, but I am already bored with them. This is not to say that the rest are not in need of rigorous training, as they truly are despicable specimens of femininity—but I shall leave their behavior to those who care enough to try to train them.
Amy Winehouse: In Need of Training
Leave it to the notorious to offer themselves up at just the right time… I was contemplating a new section to indulge my sadism, and I came up with Celebrity Slave Training. Herein I would offer readers the pleasure of seeing who, in my own view, would benefit from a customized program of rigorous training and discipline. A note to celebrity readers: if you haven’t made an appearance on the list, you may inquire within, and of course I will develop a method of breaking you custom suited to your particular brand of wantonness and depravity.
So, just as I was creating the perfect programs for the likes of the obvious, who should appear in the headlines but our first candidate, Amy Winehouse. Amy is a perfect specimen for discipline, and now that she has finally succumbed to the notion that she will, in fact, go to rehab, she will be our first visitor to Rough Writer’s Slave Training Academy.
First off, we must have sufficient cause to enslave any given celebrity, and Winehouse has earned a scholarship for her wild lifestyle, her delusions about her addictions, her rebelliousness and her complete lack of humility and remorse. She thumbs her nose at the wisdom proffered her that was designed to help her, and she certainly could use a strong guiding hand to enhance her creative capabilities, ensure her personal longevity, and just generally keep her in line. You can see in this photograph (courtesy of britishmusicscene.com) that she wears her cockiness on her sleeve, which is seen to unsuccessfully mask her personal suffering.
The program best suited for her would begin with an intervention, obviously. This would involve some sort of abduction, where she would be grabbed and tossed in the academy van to be held captive by our staff. Upon arrival at the facility (an industrial building), she would be subject to isolation and confinement in the form of a hogtie, where she would be gagged and left alone on a dirty mattress to think about what she’s done. Every four hours she would be visited by the staff and interrogated. After she accepted that she was truly in need of the sort of discipline offered at the academy, she would be thoroughly invaded by a series of long glass crack pipes. These would be left in her for long periods, and upon removal she would be whipped every hour as she was bound to the cement wall in her cell.
As she progressed, she would be allowed to walk the grounds on all fours, leashed and collared. She would be required to keep a journal of her training experiences, and she would accept the counsel of our staff at the end of each day. You can see by the video below (hopefully before it’s pulled from YouTube) that the days leading up to her final concession show her to be insane, and in dire need of some form of behavior modification.
